Questions
If you stripped away every title, role, and expectation placed upon you, who would you be at your core?
Are you living a life that aligns with your true self, or are you playing a role someone else wrote for you?
If you had no fear of judgment or failure, how would you show up in the world?
Who Are you?
In the film Anger Management, Adam Sandler is asked a simple question: “Who are you?” Seems easy enough, right? Yet no matter how he answers, he’s told he’s wrong. The frustration builds because, really, how do you answer that question?
So, I ask you the same: Who are you?
You can watch the scene unfold here: Watch the Scene
I Am…
Two of the most powerful words in existence. Whatever follows them becomes your reality. Yet, how often do we allow others to define us? How many of us let the world tell us who we are instead of owning it ourselves?
There is only one right answer to Who are you?
I am ME.
You will never fail at being you. That’s the one thing no one else can do. It doesn’t matter what people think, say, or expect—because their perception doesn’t change your truth. You are the best and worst version of yourself, but you are always you.
How freeing is that? No matter what happens, you can’t fail at simply being yourself.
"I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am."
—Charles Horton Cooley
Unhappiness thrives when we try to be someone we’re not—when we wear masks, play roles, and mold ourselves into what we think others expect. Imagine living your whole life as an actor in someone else’s script. Sounds exhausting, right? Ghandi taught that happiness is what happens when what you think, say, and do are in harmony. Should you find yourself unhappy, where are these individually out of alignment.
Recently I was scrolling on on FB and as a life-long fan of Jim Carrey, all the way back to his In Living Color FIre-Marshall Bill days, when I say his clip I stopped and watched. He stated his feelings around happiness, sadness and depression that I’ve never heard articulated that way before. Carrey, a man who made the world laugh, has spoken deeply about depression and identity. He explains that depression is not just sadness—it’s deep rest (depressed = deep rest) from the character you’ve been playing. It is your body literally saying F this I am not this person you are portraying me to be.
"People talk about depression all the time. The difference between depression and sadness. Sadness is just from happenstance, like whatever happened or didn’t happen for you, or grief, or whatever. Depression is your body saying, 'I don’t want to be this character anymore. I don’t want to hold up this avatar that you’ve created in the world.'”
Then later he admitted that Jim Carrey was a character and it took time and intense self-reflection for him to realize who he really is outside of this avatar. Think about that. If you feel weighed down, it might not be because you’re failing or it might be because you’ve spent too much time being someone you’re not supposed to be portraying.
True happiness is found in being unapologetically, transparently, authentically YOU. It’s the powerful you that is capable of anything and still has a path and purpose yet to be fulfilled.
Jim Carrey’s insight doesn’t come from just philosophy—it comes from experience. One of his greatest life lessons came from his father. Carrey’s father was an incredibly funny man, a natural comedian. But instead of chasing his dream, he played it safe. He took a “practical” job as an accountant to provide for his family. For years, he worked hard, believing security came from playing it safe.
And then he lost that safe job.
"My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that was possible for him. So he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. Our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”
Let that sink in.
You can fail at playing it safe. You can fail at being “practical.” You can fail at a life that was never truly yours. So why not risk failing at something that sets your soul on fire?
Why not be you in the process?
Carrey didn’t just stop at discovering himself—he also learned what success really means. Most people spend their lives chasing money, fame, and external validation, believing that once they have enough, they’ll finally be happy.
But Jim Carrey, a man who reached the pinnacle of fame and wealth, discovered the truth: it’s all an illusion.
"I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”
Read that again.
Then read it again…
If money and fame were the ultimate answer to happiness, celebrities would be the most fulfilled people on earth. Wealthy people would all be kind and benevolent souls because of the sheer joy filling their buckets and yet how many times have we seen the exact opposite? Wealth doesn’t fill the void. Status doesn’t erase self-doubt. External validation doesn’t replace self-acceptance.
Happiness isn’t about what you acquire—it’s about who you become.
In 2020, my bride, my soulmate, and I got matching tattoos. They say… I AM… The words echo a reminder that we define our reality. That moving forward, we own our narrative. I trust that our children will follow this story in their own way as they get older.
"I am whoever I say I am, if I wasn’t then why would I say I am? I don’t care if the radio won’t even play my jam."
Eminem
Who am I?
I am a father, husband, friend, coach, son, brother, teacher, student… and I am none of those things at the same time.
I am ME.
So, I ask you again—
Who are you?
Exercise: If you have read this far… thank you and I am both honored and humbled. Next, if you think this story would help someone else please share it and encourage them to sign up on my website for future chapters.
Craft Your Own Personal Mission Statement
Crafting a personal mission statement requires deep reflection on values, purpose, and aspirations. Here are some powerful questions to guide someone in defining who they are and what they stand for:
Identity
Who am I at my core, beyond titles, roles, and expectations?
What are three words I would use to describe myself?
How do I want to be remembered by the people I love?
Values
What values do I hold most dear?
What principles guide my decisions, even when no one is watching?
If I had to teach one lesson to the world, what would it be?
Purpose
What activities or pursuits make me feel most alive?
What problem in the world do I feel deeply called to help solve?
If money wasn’t an issue, what would I spend my time doing?
Strengths
What are my unique gifts, talents, or strengths?
How do I naturally add value to the lives of others?
If someone needed my help, what would they most likely ask for?
Impact
What do I want my life to stand for?
How do I want to make a difference in the world?
If I could leave behind one lasting message, what would it be?
After answering these questions, look for common themes in your responses. Then, craft a mission statement in this format:
"I am [who you are] and I stand for [your core values]. My purpose is to [your mission] by [how you will achieve it], so that [the impact you want to create]."
I BELIEVE IN YOU
Coach Dru
