Lessons from the Gym and a 6-Year Old
Adelaide Raine Lee
Questions
Are you defining success by effort or by results? It’s easy to get caught up in outcomes: the numbers on a scale, a promotion at work, or completing a marathon. But what if success was measured by showing up every day, giving your best effort, and committing to the process?
How do you respond when progress feels slow or stagnant?
Are your habits aligned with your identity and values?
"Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome."
– Arthur Ashe
Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome: Lessons from the Gym and a 6-Year Old
Recently, I had an eye-opening experience while taking my 6-year-old daughter, Adelaide, to the gym. She joined me for a 30ish-minute workout. We did a few dumbbell lifts and a couple exercises, which as you can imagine was only as effective as keeping the attention of a 6-year old. When we finished and I gave her the it’s time to go sign, she squeezed her little arm, looked up at me, and asked, “Can I come with you tomorrow? I’m still squishy.” It was a simple moment, of laughter and innocence yet it held profound lessons about the importance of focusing on the process rather than the outcome.
Adelaide didn’t get the instant fix she may have expected; she embraced the process of knowing if her results weren’t what she expected she must have to come back until she’s less squishy. Her willingness to come back the next day reflected an understanding—whether conscious or not—that discipline and growth come from consistent effort over time. This small and precious moment inspired me to think about how we can approach life and goals with a focus on process-driven discipline.
Here are three powerful questions to reflect on, along with insights and strategies to help you master discipline and focus on the process:
The Power of Discipline and Process
Adelaide’s willingness to return to the gym wasn’t about achieving a perfect outcome that day. It was about engaging in the process, learning, and growing over time. Her enthusiasm reminded me of these critical principles from Dr. Andrew Huberman and James Clear:
Resilience Through Effort: Regularly engaging in effortful tasks trains your brain to handle challenges with greater focus and perseverance.
Habit Stacking: Pair new habits with existing routines to make them more automatic and sustainable.
Celebrate Effort: Reflect on your daily wins, no matter how small, to build confidence and reinforce positive behavior.
A Final Thought
Mastering discipline is not about overnight success; it’s about showing up, even when results feel distant. Perhaps if we all focus on the process rather than the results we may all find ourselves less squishy. Whether it’s your fitness journey, personal development, or career goals, remember to focus on following a process. As Adelaide taught me that day, the willingness to embrace the journey is the true marker of growth.